Confused about tipping? You're not alone. For starters, the United States has one of the most complicated tipping cultures around. Often, nearly anybody performing a service here—down to the teen who hands over your Starbucks Frappuccino—seems to expect a gratuity, whereas many other countries add a service charge to the bill, thereby eliminating the guesswork. And as group guardians, planners play by even harder rules than the average customer. Do you tip the concierge? The CVB staffer? How much? And how do you handle those pesky resort fees?
Relax. Successful Meetings polled the Emily Posts of meeting planning and got the consensus on who should get what, when, and how much. Read on—and never feel uncouth again.
DO break down resort fees. When negotiating contracts with properties that charge such fees, find out where the gratuities go, says Cynthia Lett, a Silver Spring, MD-based etiquette expert/trainer (and a 20-year planning veteran). "Don't be afraid to ask, 'Whom does this go to?' and 'How much does each individual get?' " she urges. "If fees are going to people I'd normally tip anyway—for instance, housekeeping, golf bag handlers, cart drivers, the F&B staff in the bars—I don't double tip."
DO tip baggage handlers. On the other hand, bellhops aren't necessarily included in resort fees (ask to be sure). Unless you're paying an in-and-out baggage charge per the contract—typically $3 to $5 per attendee on arrival and departure—tip bellhops a dollar a bag. If attendees are arriving en masse, the organization holding the meeting should tip the bellhops, notes Lett; if attendees arrive on their own, let them know whether the organization or they are responsible for the handlers. In tip-happy cities like New York and Miami, where bags may be handled by multiple bellhops before reaching your room, tip every handler, says Lett: "At a San Francisco property recently, a staffer asked if I wanted help or could I carry my own bags. That gave me a choice, but in general, bellhops expect to carry your bags and expect to be tipped, and you have to live with it."
DO leave some moola for the maid. Savvy organizations will bill a group's housekeeping tips to the master account, says Lett; otherwise, suggest that attendees leave a dollar per guest per night at a midlevel hotel, and two dollars at a luxury property.
DO grease the palms of the banquet staff. Gratuities are often included in the contract for big banquets; when they're not, Lett tips the banquet manager with instructions on how to distribute to the crew. The average is $10 per crew member and $20 for the manager, but she's given as much as $25 and $50 (for managers, always double what staffers get) for handling groups of several hundred. If the banquet staffers—i.e., the servers—are different from the setup crew, tip the latter separately.
Even when gratuities are included, it's often a good idea to drop a judicious five or ten on a key staffer, notes Bob Frye, CMP, managing director and chief of protocol for International Business Protocol in Glenmoore, PA. "For instance, I might meet with the person setting up a lunch for a few people, hand him a five, and say, 'Here's how I want the tables arranged.' It really buys you a lot in terms of getting things done quickly."
DON'T tip staffers you don't interact with. If you're bringing non-golfers to a golf resort, for instance, it's inappropriate to tip the caddies and cart drivers. (If the resort fee includes such gratuities, ask to have it lowered, as one planner did successfully with spa charges at a recent resort meeting where she knew attendees would have no time for massages.) The same goes for the concierge: Don't tip her if she doesn't do anything for your group. What to give if she does? For arranging dinner reservations, Lett recommends $5 ($10 if it was a tight squeeze); for show tickets, $10 ($20 if it was sold out). "It depends on the property, the city, how much she used her contacts, and how appreciative you are."
DO tip the convention services manager. He or she is ultimately responsible for your success on property and should always get something, notes Lett; how much depends on the number of days and attendees as well as the difficulty of your program: "Let your heart and mind guide you here."
DO remember that tips need not be monetary. Sales managers, for example, typically get a token of appreciation related to the client's business. "I've gotten a gold necklace from a jewelry company," says a manager in Hilton Head, SC, "and a Saudi oil executive once gave me a fur coat for squeezing in his group when we were sold out!" The nicest gratuity, observes Lett, is often a thank-you note or a letter to the general manager singing the praises of a helpful staffer; these can replace a gratuity for sales managers, but service personnel should also get currency.
DO provide a local tipping guide for attendees. Visitors who aren't familiar with local tipping practices will feel uncomfortable and therefore be distracted from the meeting, observes Frye, so a local tipping guide "is almost as important as the meeting agenda." Ask your local contacts—whether you're meeting in Arizona or Australia—to get accurate information.
DON'T tip the host. Just as you wouldn't give a gratuity to someone who invited you over for dinner, it's insulting to tip your host, say Frye and Lett. (An attendee on a familiarization trip learned this the hard way when he and the other planners handed a cash-filled envelope to the tourism board manager who'd invited them. "When I saw her face," he recalls, "I realized we'd essentially reduced the relationship she was trying to establish to a wad of bills.") Similarly, if your host takes you to his private club, villa, or on his private plane, don't tip the staff; you could give a small present, but no cash. And never tip the general manager or the owner of a property or business. Instead, send a thank-you note. Sure, it's more work than opening your wallet—but that's why it's more meaningful.