Your ability to create trusting relationships is a significant factor in your professional success. Without trust, no one will make a purchase, respect your expertise, carry out your instructions, or refer business to you. With trust, you will break down barriers and create a relationship of compatibility, a mutually beneficial relationship that will allow you to be privy to others needs, motivations, and desires. Trust can never be created with insincerityyou must have a desire to help others and to allow others to attain their goals. You can create trust rapidly and automatically by using the following strategies.
These techniques are things each of us does automatically do when we are around people with whom we are comfortable. Next time you are out with a good friend, pay attention to your movements, as well as theirs. You will see that you unconsciously use the techniques below because you are in a situation, and a relationship, of trust and comfort.
As you learn and use these techniques, you will notice your communication enhanced and you will find you can begin to create trust rapidly, even with complete strangers.
MirroringMirroring is a technique that creates a subconscious familiarity between parties and rapidly creates a feeling of affinity. The key factor is your ability to physically mirror the activities of the other party simultaneously, like a mirror, without looking like you are intentionally copying them or making fun of them. This technique must be used subtly and with respect.
As you are speaking to another person, begin to take on some of their physical characteristics. For instance, if they lean forward, you lean forward; if they sit upright, you sit upright. By mirroring with good intentions you create a positive feeling of trust and familiarity.
You need not mirror every move someone makes or it becomes imitation. Mirror just enough characteristics to make them feel positive and comfortable with you.
Characteristics you can mirror include: posture, hand movement, facial expressions, eye movements, movement of feet, hands, fingers, weight shifts, and breathing rate.
MatchingMatching is similar to mirroring in that you take on physical attributes of the individual with whom you are conversing. However, instead of mirroring the other person's characteristics simultaneously, you allow a time lapse.
For instance, if during our conversation you make a hand gesture when emphasizing a point, I would make a similar hand gesture later in the conversation when emphasizing a point. This would create an emotional response of acceptance and trust.
Characteristics you can match are limited only by what the other person is doing. Some good attributes to match are hand gestures and head movement.
Cross MatchingCross-matching is the ability to gain trust with someone by matching their behavior with a corresponding behavior of your own, but not the exact action as the other person.
For instance, you may notice someone's breathing rate and tap your finger to the rate of their breath. Or you may note their foot motion and move your hand at the same rate of their foot tap.
MismatchingSometimes we are involved in conversations we need to end for whatever reason: time constraints, content of no value, and so on. In these cases it is advantageous to use mismatching to end conversations quickly. To mismatch someone you must note their behaviors and then provide opposing behaviors.
For instance, you may abruptly change your posture to reflect the opposite of theirs. If they lean back in their chair, you lean forward. You may change your rate of breathing to run counter to theirs, or your voice level may go up or down, again, running opposite to the pitch of their voice. Next time you find yourself on a long plane flight with someone that goes on and on, try this technique. You will find it very valuable.
The best way to find the value of these techniques is to test them. Choose multiple people and utilize these techniques to create trust, and then try mismatching them to eliminate trust, and notice how quickly your quality of communication changes.
Soon you will find yourself able to create trust quickly and automatically and the quality of your relationships will increase, personally and professionally.
Blaze Driscoll is an entertainer and speaker who combines pragmatic content with engaging audience participation. For more information about how you can have Blaze Driscoll for your next event Band of Gold visit
www.BlazeDriscoll.com.
Originally published January 01, 2008For more ideas, tips, and tools for better meetings and events,
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